Jelly Book - volume 14

More entries for the Jelly Book, starring little miss Gianna.

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We went early to church at the Cathedral,  It was during the most sacred part of the Mass and I was stroking Gianna's cheeks.  She sweetly looked up at me and as I cupped her chin in my hands and gave her little cheeks a playful squeeze and she smiled and whispered....."I am a guppy....."  It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen and it sent us both into a terrible bout of inappropriate church giggles.  (See video.)

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G:  Hey Mommy, how did you get curly hair if MeMaw has straight hair?

Me: (starting to answer but getting interrupted...)

G:  Oh yeah, never mind, I remember:  you caught your curly hair from PePaw.

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Looking at a beautiful stained glass depicting the "Holy Spirit"

G:  Oooh, that's a pretty one of the Peace Pigeon

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We went to an awesome birthday party out in the country where there where beautiful horses.  One of Gianna's school friends wanted to show her mom the horses, but insisted on bringing Gianna who apparently had a gift for "calling them".  I tagged along and the mom and I doubled over with laughter as Gianna belted out her best horse call, "HEE HAW, HEE HAW, HEE HAW!"  And would you believe the horses came?

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Each week, Gianna's teacher sends home a stack of graded papers.  As I was sifting through an assignment with a task of putting words in alphabetical order, I noticed she got it wrong.  Curious as to how she interpreted the question, I wanted to check her answer.

The Task:   Put in ABC order

                    A.   play             1     

                    B.   apple            2     

                    C.   dog               3     

She technically put them in ABC order.  A was first, B was second and C was third.  It was marked wrong, but I totally gave her credit.

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We were at the school carnvial and Gianna spotted her Spanish teacher.  

G:  Mommy, can I go say "hi" to Senora Smith?

Me:  Gianna, you don't say "hi" to your Spanish teacher. What do you say?

G:  Oh, I know.  Bonjour, Senora Smith!

(Ay Caramba!)

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Went to a little party at a friend's house and it was particularly cold. One of the cool moms (I'm not part of that group) was wearing a great vest and a fur hat....which, I must say, would have totally looked ridiculous on me.

Gianna was very impressed.  She was up to the mom and complimented her on her hat.  After she was thanked, Gianna blurted, "So, is that a real skunk or is it a fox?"  (For the record, it was real fake fur.)

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Waking up to white roof tops and frosted cars, Gianna excitedly asked, "Guess who came? Frosted Jack? Frosty Jack? Wait, what's that 'winter man's' name?"

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With the colder temps, Gianna and both have to be mindful of re-applying Carmex or Chapstic.  She told me, "Man, my lips keep getting 'chapter and chapter'!!"

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During her turbulent transition to her new school, Gianna's behavior at home was very challenging. I was in communication with her counselor at school to help navigate the rough waters.  After a particularly difficult string of difficult days I ran into the counselor who told me Gianna reported that she'd been very good at home.  I was befuddled by this news and was eager to ask Gianna what was up.  

Me:  Gianna, why did you tell Ms. Sue that you've been so good? You're behavior has been pretty rotten lately.

G:  I have been good. Remember those two days last week?

*sigh*

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When I go to Gianna's school Masses I usually sit in the back and let her sit with her classmates.  One particular week I decided to join her class and sit next to her.  As I was singing the song after communion (a song I've sung since I was a child) I began singing the harmony.  Gianna whipped her little head around and not so discretely remarked, "Mommy! Why are you singing off key?"    Before I could explain to her what I was doing the mom behind, laughing hysterically, me slapped me on the back, "Oh my gosh, that is the funniest thing.  Don't worry, I can't sing either!"

I can too sing!  I'm not singing harmony anymore.

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Gianna and I were driving through some HORRIBLE weather.  It was truly scary.

After we made it through safely, she exclaimed, "Wow! That was the worriest I've ever been in my life!"

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G:  I know that I am supposed to wear a special dress for my First Communion, but what do I wear for my Second Communion?

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G: I feel like I swallowed flies for lunch 

Me: What does that mean? 

G: I was really nervous 

ME: Do you mean you feel like you have butterflies in your tummy? 

G:  Oh yeah, that's it.

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G: I can't wait to go to heaven.

Me:  Really?  I feel the same way sometimes.

G:  Yeah, you know who I can't wait to see?

Me: Well, I have a pretty good idea.

G:  Squanto.  I can't wait to see Squanto in heaven.

Me: The Native American who helped the Pilgrims?

G:  Yes!

Me: I gotta say, Squanto would not have been one of my guesses.

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G:  I stuck up for one of the kids at recess today.

Me:  Really?  What did you do?

G:  Well, some kids were making fun of this 'chuffy' boy and I told them that it wasn't very nice.

Me:  Well Gianna, that was really kind of you. What is chuffy, though?

G:  He was a little big and round.

Me:  Aaaah!  Good job.

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Last year when Gianna saw the coming attractions for the new Annie movie, she was very adamant that she wanted to see it.  One day I showed her a picture of the original Annie and she asked who it was.  I told her it was Annie, like from the upcoming movie.  She told me it WAS NOT Annie because Annie had brown skin.

Now, don't get me wrong: I have no trouble with Annie having brown skin, but I think one should always be familiar with and appreciate an original work before the remake. 

Soooo - I let her watch the Annie with Carol Burnett as Ms. Hanigan

She LOVED it - but it got her in some serious trouble with Mommy.

Any time she threw one of her famous fits, she'd try and muster up any sort of pseudo curse words that she could.  Calling me a "haskell" is one of her go-tos. (Derived from rascal.)  Then her bazooka is always, "You, you, you.....Ms. Hanigan!"

It took her three weeks to work that out of her vocabulary in order to earn movie tickets to see the new movie.

(I'm frankly shocked that Gianna doesn't know any curse words (except for stupid, butt, haskel and Ms. Hanigan, but I'm in SO much trouble when it she does.)

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Our good friends invited us to their house for fireworks one night over the holiday.  G: "Mr. Mickey, you got the quiet ones, right?"

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The morning after seeing the new Annie I asked her what she wanted for breakfast.

She didn't even flinch. "Cannoli!"

(Having seen the movie, would help understand that one.)

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Driving in the car one day, trying to make conversation I asked,

"So Gianna, what word would you use to describe yourself?"

G:  Hmmmm......Sexy.

Me: (shocked and concerned) Um, where did you hear that word?

G:  You.

Me:  ME???  When have I ever said that?

G:  You call me that all the time!

Me:  Sassy, Gianna! SASSY!

G:  Oh.

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It's no surprise that Gianna is not a fan of loud (and sudden) noises.  She's getting better, but it still affects her. On New Year's Eve this year she was more outdone than scared of the obnoxious fireworks. After several attemps of trying to fall asleep she declared, "I think they shouldn't call it New Year's Eve. I think they should call it eve of rude people who pop fireworks outside the city limits when it's illegal!"

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G: We were jumping rope at P.E. and I was so suffocated.

Me:  Suffocated?  What does that mean?

G:  It means never give up no matter what.

Me:  Well, good for you.

G: Are you surprised I know a big word like that?

Me.  Sure am!

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The only commercial TV that I let Gianna watch occasionally are food shows.  She LOVES the Pioneer Woman and gets quite a kick out of the competition shows such as Chopped. I love that she uses a lot of the terminology and that she practices them during our meals.  

One day we were eating a supper my mom cooked and Gianna started her critique.

G:  Well, the taste is okay, I like the smell,  but I'm having a hard getting used to the texture.  And for that reason, MeMaw, you've been chopped.

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My good friend graciously took Gianna shopping for my birthday.  When she was telling me about their day, my friend said she got the giggles when she took Gianna to the bathroom.

Gianna said she was nervous to go in by herself, so my friend stood in the stall with her.  When Gianna got up, the automatic flush kicked in, which invariably freaks Gianna out.  Gianna was exasperated when she exclaimed, "I just don't get why these toilets flush without your permission!!!"

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After that same shopping trip, Gianna exclaimed in one long breath,

"I got you the best birthday gift. You're not even going to believe it. You have to open it last because if you open it 1st your really not going to like anyone else's after that."

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One day after eating supper with my parents, my dad produced a bowl of figs and proudly told Gianna that they were the figs from his tree that he frozen last summer.  When I sat back down to join them, Gianna leaned over to me and whispered, "Those are from last July - DONT EAT THEM!"

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Gianna came home one day without her school sweater. When I was questioning her as to where she last had it, she said,

G:  Oh yeah, it was in the bathroom.  I took it off in the bathroom.

Me:  GIANNA!  You should never take your sweater off in the bathroom. Please tell me you didn't put it on the floor.

G:  No, Mommy. I put it on the sweater hanger in the really big stall.

Me:  Gianna! That's not a sweater hanger; it's a handicap rail!

G: Ohhhhh!

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We were playing in the backyard and I saw Gianna kneeling by a tree picking the bark off.

Me:  Gianna, what are you doing?

G: Pedicuring the tree. 

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G:  My nose is snuffy on only one side.  Is that why God gave us two nostrils?

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Gianna asked to go play outside after school.  I told her she could, but noticed my mom outside quietly reading her prayer book.  I told Gianna she could go outside but she was NOT to disturb MeMaw or ask her to play as she was having some quiet prayer time.

I watched Gianna go out the door and very slowly passing my mother while looking straight ahead of her.

Soon after Gianna disappeared, my mom came in to tell me what Gianna said.

She apparently, whispered out of the corner of her mouth,

"MeMaw, my mom doesn't want me talking to you, but as soon as you're done with your quiet time, I'll be waiting to play with you in the yard."

  

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Gianna is famous for saying she is full after eating only part of her meal, and then quickly asking what she could have for dessert.  

Me:  You cannot say you're full and not finish your meal and then ask for dessert!

G: Why not?

Me:  You can't have it both ways.

G:  Well, did you know I have two stomachs?

Me:  No, I wasn't aware.

G:  Yep, I have a regular one and a dessert one. Even if the regular one is full - the dessert one can still be empty.

Me:  Well played, little one.  Well played.

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