Well, it happened. We sold our home. The closing was on Friday. It was a closing on so many different levels. Not only did we bid adieu to our home, but we painfully ended the chapter in our lives that contained Iain. People keep encouraging me to focus on the adventure ahead, but I'm not quite there. I'm very aware of the reality of our lives, but I'm just doggone sad about it. This closing was supposed to be filled with promise and hope of our next chapter in our family's life. Instead it represented a very marked end to our family as we knew it. I was so afraid of breaking down during the closing. I didn't. I also tried not to speak much or make eye contact with anyone.
My head is still spinning from all the packing, hauling, organizing, downsizing and moving. All our belongings are in storage, Gianna and I are at my parents, and once again we are living in limbo.
There are decisions to make, paths to navigate, tasks to juggle, grief to manage and a little girl to raise. I feel like I'm teetering on the abyss. I try to embrace the moment and not anticipate the future, but it's not an easy task. The future doesn't seem as exciting and hopeful as everyone seems to be telling me. I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just sad...and scared....and overwhelmed. I know I'll be fine. I know this is temporary. This is just where I am...and I'm not fond of this chapter.
Our home in Moss Bluff gave me comfort. Gianna too. She's sad. She knows it wasn't just about our home -- it was about her Daddy. The goodbye was big.
So, we'll just keep moving on and taking each challenge as it comes. I'm weary. I keep begging God to go easy on the 'lessons'. These days I feel a little bratty as a child of God. I'm glad He's big enough to handle it.
I really do know there is more healing and joy ahead...I just have to be honest to my experience. I wish I could help people understand that the presence of hope and joy does not mean the absense of pain and sorrow. The more time that passes, the heavier the ache of missing Iain becomes.
Please pray for us through this transition.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Monday, June 04, 2012
More Royalty (Disney - vol 3)
We sure love Sleeping Beauty. Gianna and Alyssa were so sweet with her. Although she was lovely, she didn't overly impress me. Maybe it's just that Aurora is one of the more proper, less playful princesses.
She was a very good sport when Gianna asked to see her shoes. (Gianna asked that of every princess.)
Belle was beautiful, indeed.
Oh, but Ariel stole our hearts. We just loved her. She fell in love with Gianna and Alyssa quickly and she and Prince Eric spent a ridiculous amount of time with these two charmers. At first, Prince Eric seemed a little aloof, but as Gianna started talking and asking her questions, he perked up. He later asked the girls what their favorite animals were and drew them (quite ipressively) in their autograph books. As we were leaving, Ariel leaned over to me and said, "Please bring them back to see us."
Gianna started asking the princesses for kisses. She'd walk around Disney sported big red lipstick marks on her face. Bold little girl.
And Mary Poppins may not be a princesses, but she sure is Disney Royalty in my eyes.
Belle was beautiful, indeed.
Oh, but Ariel stole our hearts. We just loved her. She fell in love with Gianna and Alyssa quickly and she and Prince Eric spent a ridiculous amount of time with these two charmers. At first, Prince Eric seemed a little aloof, but as Gianna started talking and asking her questions, he perked up. He later asked the girls what their favorite animals were and drew them (quite ipressively) in their autograph books. As we were leaving, Ariel leaned over to me and said, "Please bring them back to see us."
Then we went to the fairy cove and met Tinkerbell and her friend, Rosetta. Rosetta was a hoot and totally trumped Tinkerbell.
Friday, June 01, 2012
Disney - vol 2
A good part of our time at Disney was spent waiting to see the characters - namely the princesses. They girls were total sports as they waited, and Gianna made many friends on line during our waits.
I was so happy to have gotten so many pictures, but without having Iain with me, I opted out of taking any video. These character visits were video worthy for sure. Gianna knew so many details about the princesses and the movies and she is such a good conversationalist, that these visits were so much fun for us, for the characters, for the photographers and even for some of the people waiting on line.
Most of the kids hugged the character, got their autograph book signed and had their picture taken -- three mintutes tops. Not this little dynamic duo. They really were so much fun to watch and they managed to completely steal the hearts of these Disney idols. Gianna would start her chatting and questions (hilarious) and brazen requests (Gianna had them all dancing with her at some point) and Alyssa would support the effort with her sweet little disposition and together they just made magic. It was really amazing to watch.
Tianna was the first princess we enountered, and for Eva and I - may have been one of the very top favorites. She was one of the most authentic of the royals we met. Gianna told her she was from Louisiana too! She also told Tianna that her name rhymed with Gianna's.
I was so happy to have gotten so many pictures, but without having Iain with me, I opted out of taking any video. These character visits were video worthy for sure. Gianna knew so many details about the princesses and the movies and she is such a good conversationalist, that these visits were so much fun for us, for the characters, for the photographers and even for some of the people waiting on line.
Most of the kids hugged the character, got their autograph book signed and had their picture taken -- three mintutes tops. Not this little dynamic duo. They really were so much fun to watch and they managed to completely steal the hearts of these Disney idols. Gianna would start her chatting and questions (hilarious) and brazen requests (Gianna had them all dancing with her at some point) and Alyssa would support the effort with her sweet little disposition and together they just made magic. It was really amazing to watch.
Tianna was the first princess we enountered, and for Eva and I - may have been one of the very top favorites. She was one of the most authentic of the royals we met. Gianna told her she was from Louisiana too! She also told Tianna that her name rhymed with Gianna's.
Then we went on to meet Aladdin and Jasmine. Immediately Gianna asked Jasmine where the "rest of her clothes" were. Aladdin was FULL of personality. Gianna was drawn to him in an instant. At one point Jasmine reminded Gianna that Aladdin was her husband.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Recital ~ 2012
What a beautiful night. It was the very first ballet recital for not only Gianna, but for The Lake Charles Dance Academy founded and run by Colleen Cannon Benoit. Colleen and I went to high school together and I remember her amazing passion and gift for dancing all those years ago.
Our year of ballet was such a good experience for both Gianna and I. When Gianna's teacher told me how good she was in class...I was so pleasantly surprised that I actually cried. She said Gianna was one of the most mature in her class even though she was one of the youngest. Whew. That was good to hear...especially on those days when I question my parenting.
She did a fantastic job at the recital. (I thought I'd be a wreck, but I wasn't nervous at all.) She was thrilled to finally be on a BIG stage. Heaven knows it's where she belongs. :)
Well, I could go on and on, but I'll just post pictures instead. (And by the way, I'm learning to shoot my pictures in manuel mode and and not good at it yet. That ought to explain the blurry, "artistic" pictures. :)
Our year of ballet was such a good experience for both Gianna and I. When Gianna's teacher told me how good she was in class...I was so pleasantly surprised that I actually cried. She said Gianna was one of the most mature in her class even though she was one of the youngest. Whew. That was good to hear...especially on those days when I question my parenting.
She did a fantastic job at the recital. (I thought I'd be a wreck, but I wasn't nervous at all.) She was thrilled to finally be on a BIG stage. Heaven knows it's where she belongs. :)
Well, I could go on and on, but I'll just post pictures instead. (And by the way, I'm learning to shoot my pictures in manuel mode and and not good at it yet. That ought to explain the blurry, "artistic" pictures. :)
My sweet little ballerina.
Bravo, Gianna.
You were amazing. I know your Daddy watched you with love and delight.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Vibrato
I've mentioned before that Gianna loves to sing and does so ALL the time. The newest skill she's added has been this melodic vibrato which she has honed all on her own. It cracks me up every time she does it.
I let her watch part of the finale of "A Miracle" Idol the other night and now, whenever she gives a concert, she interrupts herself by announcing another star (many of the finalists sang duets with their own popular idols.) Here's a little performance I walked in on the other day...
...and in case you didn't catch it, she announced me as her duet idol, "Mommy Ledet! (as in Josh Ledet). The girl makes me laugh.
She is even styling herself as the little creative that she is. Thankfully these ensembles only debut in the privacy of our home.
I let her watch part of the finale of "A Miracle" Idol the other night and now, whenever she gives a concert, she interrupts herself by announcing another star (many of the finalists sang duets with their own popular idols.) Here's a little performance I walked in on the other day...
...and in case you didn't catch it, she announced me as her duet idol, "Mommy Ledet! (as in Josh Ledet). The girl makes me laugh.
She is even styling herself as the little creative that she is. Thankfully these ensembles only debut in the privacy of our home.
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