When life gives you lemons....

....then you may have to have a mini-meltdown, mutter inaudible choice words under your breath, whine and complaint a little bit, and throw yourself a pity party before put your big girl panties on...

...and then make lemonade.

* * * * * * * *
Our latest batch of lemons are of the real estate variety.
You may remember we listed our house for sale in the Spring.

Twenty couples went through our house and 93 days into the process - we got an offer!

We were beyond thrilled since keeping the house 'show ready' with Hurricane Gianna was beginning to take a toll.  The buyers were solid and wanted a closing 45 after we negotiated a contract instead of the customary 30 days.  That was awesome for us since we wanted a little time to secure a house in LC.  We found one quickly - perfect for our family and beyond our expectations.  It was in a precious neighborhood on a cul-du-sac with only one other house (only two houses on the street.)  Everything seemed to be falling into place - and our big confirmation was that the name of our street was our last name.  We just knew that was a sign.

So inspections were done on both homes, appraisals were complete, and all the hoops were jumped through.

Closing date on both homes was set for August 10th.

That's today.

It didn't happen.

Neither of them.

Two weeks ago we had a hard time getting exact information on the closing of our home.  The buyer's lender wasn't returning calls to the buyer, his agent or our agent. We were concerned, but not worried since we heard that many of the big lending companies sometimes drag their feet.  The buyer was furious with his lender and pulled his profile and said he'd be getting another lender.

It all went downhill from there.

Ten days ago, we got a call from our realtor (and good friend) to tell us that the deal fell through.  The mortgage company denied financing (they had already given them an approval letter) and his government job was in jeopardy due to budget cuts (so he says.)

So, not only did we lose the sale of our house - but the new house in LC was contingent on the sale of our home.  We were sick.  All three families had packed up their homes.  We have been hauling boxes to a storage unit in LC for weeks.  About 80% of our belongings are in storage.

(Gianna keeps telling people, "You wanna come to our house?  IT'S EMPTY!!!!")

We felt so terrible for the people whose house we would be buying.  Even though we weren't directly responsible for the breakdown of the deal - we knew how horrible it would be for them.

We still had the hope that maybe we'd quickly get a buyer so we could purchase the awesome house we loved -- but today we learned that there is a new offer on that house. So, here we sit....in an empty house, back at square one, having missed almost six weeks of showing our home during prime buying time and now having to start from scratch. UGH!!!!!

For us, it felt like being left at the altar.  Oh, it could have been MUCH worse and we are very aware that these are definitely first world whinings. We are blessed to have a home as nice as we do, our health and our family.

Interestingly, we just went through a similar upset in our adoption journey.  I haven't even wanted to blog about that, because I haven't fully processed it all.  The thumbnail version is that back in April we were told we were chosen by a birthmother.  We were thrilled to learn that the baby would be born four weeks later.  We told no one ~ not even our parents.  We decided that we would tell people as soon as we met with the birthmom.  Two weeks later, Iain took off work so we could travel to a neighboring city and meet our birthmother for the first time.  As we got ready to get in the car, my phone rang and I heard the regretful tone of our social worker's voice.

"I'm so sorry, the birthmother changed her mind."

It was a kick in the gut.

Part of the negative is having to prepare Gianna for possible big changes in our lives, get her psyched, and then completely change gears.  She is such a trooper! She is playing with TWO toys since everything else is in storage.  And she continues to pray for 'Ms. Karen to sell our house' and 'for God to send us a baby brother and a baby sister." (She says 'and' - I say 'or'!!!)

So, we're in limbo - not just in the adoption arena, but in real estate as well.

We really do have faith in a bigger plan that we cannot see.  We really do have faith that God has not forgotten us and that He has our best interests at heart.  Even though we are not quite so sure what these events are supposed to be teaching us - we do believe that we are called to be faithful - regardless of our understanding of God's Plan (or lack thereof.)

We are praying that we will handle this challenge with positivity and grace and that we can trust in God's bigger plan.

Sooo....I've got my big girl panties on, but I'm still a little whiny when we are

reminded of all the ways this event has inconvenienced our lives.  We do know this is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Twenty years down the road, this will just be a "remember when..."  But for now, it stinks.  We feel much better than we did last week when it all happened. Maybe for my next pity party, I'll be able to serve lemonade.

This is certainly not the end of the story.

I look forward to watching God's plan unfold....

maybe while drinking a glass of lemonade. :)

Fascinating & Frightening

Yep. It's sleep apnea. 

Iain's appointment with the sleep doctor came and went and so his sleep study.  We went for the results and we were blown away just what they are able to tell from the readings of all the electrodes he had to sleep with. (That sounds bad, doesn't it?)  It's brilliant technology which is simply fascinating.   We were completely impressed and amazed with all this new knowlege and we were equally aghast at the findings.

I actually did expect a diagnosis of sleep apnea or some other sleep related disorder, but I didn't expect to hear such frightful facts.  Iain stopped breathing an average of 23 times per hour througout the night. STOPPED BREATHING!  That's scary stuff, y'all.  Even scarier.....he stopped breathing an average of 46 times per hour when he experienced REM sleep. The good (and bad) news is that he wasn't getting near the REM sleep that a person requires for good restorative sleep.

By looking in the back of one's throat, the doctor can tell how open the airway is.  A tighter airway would increase the chance of apnea. A level one is most open and a level four would be the most constricted.  Iain was between a 3 and 4 during the day. Yikes.

The long and short of it is, he'll be getting a CPAP machine and mask (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) to increase his night-time attractive husband factor help force the air he needs into his body. 

He actually already went back for a 2nd sleep study where they fitted him with a mask and he slept with it that night.  We've yet to meet with the doctor regarding those results, but Iain said he slept like a baby and the technician said he didn't snore once and got good REM sleep. 

We cannot wait until our appointment and subsequent acquisition of one of those magical sleep machines.  Both of our sleep has been compromised because of this and we are desparate to gain some normalcy in this area of our lives.  Thank heavens we had that scare several weeks back in order to force us to find answers. The doctor (and other friends with similar experiences) assures us that our quality of life will increase quickly and dramatically once this is addressed.  Bring it on!  We just can't wait to get some good sleep.

Thanks so much for those of you who have been asking about Iain's health and for lifting him up in prayer.  We are happy to be on the road to a welcomed remedy.

Now, if we can just manage to get as good sleep as THIS little munchkin gets....

....we'll ALL be doing much better. :)

On a side note, night-time sleep for our little one has been flawless lately. (12-13 hours and no interruptions - I quiver as I type this because just as soon as I do....well, you know what tends to happen.)  We are still in some crazy state of nap limbo.  Sometimes one nap, sometimes two naps.  It's been one heck of a long transition to the realm of the one-a-day nappers, but we're trying to do what's best for her. It just makes planning our day a little more challenging ~ which is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. 

What I know...

I just wanted to close out the whole "I'm starring in my own Lifetime Move" series with an update and a few thoughts.  Unfortunately for you, it is yet another post that most people won't find very interesting, but there are a few things that I wanted to be sure to remember.

• First off, Iain's donig well and claims that the 30 hour "nap" was wonderful and says he highly recommends it.  (Yeah, let me just pencil that right in my schedule, hon.) He has been getting great sleep since the ordeal and isn't even snoring as much or as loudly.  His consult at the sleep center in a couple of weeks.
• It occured to me the other day that were other events that probably factored in to the unfortunate climax we experienced. 
• For Christmas, all three of us caught a cold.  Gianna and I breezed through it and were done in a couple of days, but Iain hung on to his for a good 2 weeks.
• Right after Christmas he broke a tooth and had to have painful dental work done - which gave him more compromised sleep and suffering. (Yes, Iain and Gianna broke a tooth within a day of each other. Lovely.)
• Iain gets something called "cluster migraines" which occur either every or every other year."  They are daily migraines that occur for a span of 2-3 weeks.  Well, for 3 weeks in January he was afflicted with them...which meant 3 weeks of misery at night (when they were the worst) with very little decent sleep. 
• The way I look at it, with months of stress and exhaustion, in addition to all these other factors -- it's my opinion that they created "The Perfect Storm" in his body which caused it to just shut down.  I still think apnia is a big factor, but it alone may not have caused the huge ordeal that happened last week.
• It's smart to have your husbands important contact #s in your phone as well.  I had Iain's phone with me, but couldn't access his contacts because of his dern passcode.  Thankfully I managed to get it out of him in one of his semi-lucid moments.
• I haven't completely memerized his SS# and I should.  I used to have it programmed into my phone, but I lost all my numbers due to several unfortunate phone incidents.  Grr.
• Iain just switched to a new doctor, and I didn't remember which one. Thankfully, it was listed a prescription he had. I should've had that name and number in my phone too.
• I am determined to have all my important contact #s listed in Iain's phone, too.  I keep thinking that if I was involved in an emergency, he'd waste a lot of time trying to get a hold of some important people.
• We need to have a will drawn up and not leave anything to chance.
• I have committed to always sleeping in my good pajamas and have given Iain strict instructions that if he has to call 911 for me, he better darn well make sure I'm modestly dressed. :)
• I'm pleased that I didn't lose my marbles during the whole crazy emergency.  I'm glad I was able to think and to pray and to keep it together. I have, however, warned Iain that I plan to schedule a mild to moderate breakdown in the next few weeks.  Even though things seem pretty normal - I was profoundly affected by the way things couldv'e turned out.
• I give honor and glory to God for bringing us through this episode.  I pray we can express that honor in the way we heed the warning we were given and treat life as the fragile gift that it is.
• I am completely aware that even though this was a pretty big deal for us - it's nothing compared to what many people experience on a daily basis. I continue to think of the Haitian people and those trying to bring them aid, relief and hope.  The happenings of my llittle life are certainly small potatoes in comparison.

I want gratitude to all of you who lifted Iain/us up in prayer and offered support for our family.  You are an extension of God's grace - and for that I'm truly thankful.

I should present you with some sort of "Lifetime Achievement" award for reading through all this crazy stuff.

Now, we're done. Let us resume our regular overdosing on pictures and stories of our little munchkin and her crazy parents.

Lifetime Movie - Part IV (The End)

If your joining the story in midstream and want to catch up, you can read from the beginning HERE.

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He was passed out in the car as I'm driving home.  I knew I had to feed him before he went back to serious hibernation, so I woke him up and asked him if he wanted me to stop at Sonic.  Funny how he managed to "come to" when I mentioned food.  I then remembered that he got sick to his stomach during the cat scan, so I suggested that maybe I'd fix him something simple at home.

"No, Sonic's good." he mananged to mumble. Hmm.

So, we get home and he's able to walk into the house.  First the he wants to do, of course, is go to the bathroom.  He starts walking down the hall, going faster and faster and leaning forward as if his head weighed twice as much as his body.  He took a dive straight onto the floor.
Under my breath, I'm cursing the doctor who released him so soon. 

I got him up, to the bathroom and back to the living room so he could eat.  We visited, I filled him in on some of the happenings of the day and then put him to bed. He slept for another 4 hours (and I checked on him at least every 15 minutes.)

Dana brought Gianna home around 7pm.  Man, it was good to see that little monkey.  She had an awesome day and was so happy to be home. As soon as I had her in my arms, my eyes filled with tears and my emotions released.  We played and read and I put her down.

About an hour later I was in the kitchen and I heard a noise. I look up and my perky husband was standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing up?" I exclaimed.  "You shouldn't be walking around without me."

"I feel great." he said.  He actually looked great, too --- better than me, that's for sure. Actually, he looked better than he has in months. Well, I guess I might feel pretty darn good after a 30 frickin' hour nap. Heck - I'd be happy with a 30 minute nap.

Dana's husband cooked an awesome dinner for us and I heated up for Iain while I caught him up to speed.  Apparently, he was more out of it than I had imagined.  He didn't even remember coming home, eating, falling in the hallway --- none of it. How bizarre is that?  It's like he lost an entire day of his life.

As we were visiting and looking back and ahead at our day and our lives, we chit-chatted about various things.  Somehow, the Superbowl came up and he asked if we had any plans to go watch the bowl game. I stared at him and then I completely broke down.

"Iain, I am SOO glad you are feeling better. And I'm so glad you are looking ahead and making plans, but you have to understand that although you lost 30 hours of your life to mac-daddy nap, my life was turned upside down today and I was faced with the possibility of becoming at widow with an 18 month old. You'll have to forgive me if I'm not really focused on our plans for the Superbowl."

He got it. As the days go on, he's getting it more and more.  He took Monday and Tuesday off and went back to work today.

Sleep Doctor appt. scheduled along with some other appointments. He's rested, feels great and is hardly snoring at all.

I, on the other hand, can hardly sleep, am still in crisis mode and am filled with gratitude for an ending that is SO much better than it could've been.

We've been able to laugh about a lot of what's happened.  But as much as I'm able to find the humor so much of what's happened, I am reminded constantly of reality of it all...and how fragile life is and how we have no guarantees about tomorrow.

Lifetime Movie - Part III (almost finished)

This is the third (and hopefully final) post in my little "Starring in my own Lifetime Movie" Series.  :) 

If you need to catch up, here's the FIRST PART.

And then you can read the SECOND PART.

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The puzzled doctor is just shaking his head.

"I just don't know." he said.

Then I said, "Okay, well let me tell you my theory, and then you can tell me if it's plausible."

Theory according to me (Dr. Lewis: Medicine Woman)

"The last few years have been stressful with various events in our lives, but the last six months have been extremely stressful with work - in addition to an huge amount of overtime hours. He often leaves for work at 4:30 am and by the time he comes home, he's exhuasted.  Even if he goes to bed early, he's exhausted because for months, his sleep patterns have been disrupted so often AND he's been snoring which makes me wonder if he has sleep apnia, or something the like.  If he's stressed, exhausted, and has been deprived of good REM sleep and possibly even good oxygen at night - could it cause a result like this?"

Dr.  "Wow. Well, yeah....it sure could. As a matter of fact, sleep apnia could really cause him to be exhausted. I'd recommend him to have a sleep study done - he'll just have to go sleep there one night at the Sleep Center." 

Me: "Well, that's no problem. Our good friend just became a sleep doctor, so we'll call first thing on Monday."

Dr: "Well, really, they shouldn't even need to have the patient come in - the could just interview the spouse.  My wife could tell them everything they need to know about me."

Me: "Oh really?  So you have sleep apnia?"

Dr. "Oh yeah, but I haven't had a sleep study done."

Take off concerned wife hat and put on frustrated momma hat.

Me:  "Well, Doctor, it looks like this wake-up call today isn't just for us."

Dr:  "Oh, I know - I just haven't had the time. I'm just so busy."

Me: "Well, guess who else has been too busy and look where he is?"

• I don't know why it continues to surprise me when medical professionals have poor health habits.  When I walked into the E.R. the first smell that registered was McDonald's burgers and fries. That, coupled with the clusters of nurses and doctors outside in the designated nooks to grab their smoke breaks, just befuddles me.  I know, they're human too.  It just surprises me.

The doctor asked Iain who was quasi-conscious, "Well, you look better. How are you feeling."
Iain's response. "They just need to put me out to pasture, I guess."
Dr:  "Do you think you can get up and walk?"
Iain: "Yeah, if I can just go pee, I'll be fine."
Dr. to me:  "Well, I'll get his paperwork together and you can take him home. Let him rest for a couple of days. Call yout doctor Monday for a sleep study referral. If this happens again and you can't wake him, just bring him back."
Just bring him back? Am I the only one who is thinking this is sounding ridiculous? I have to take him home - while he's still out of it, semi-dilusional and I have no clue as to whether or not he can actually get up and walk. The thought of going through this again is overwhelming.

When the doctor left, Iain was checking out all of the sensors, tubes, iv's, etc. that he was hooked up to.  He lifted up the blanket covering him in his "jaybird" state and his eyes got big and he looked at me and said,
"I have a tube DOWN THERE." (I wish I could use the actual quote because it was MUCH funnier, but I'm opting out in order to preserve my marriage.)

"And I STILL have to pee." 

The wonderful nurse comes back and said he'd go ahead and unhook him from all the monitors and IV's.
Meanwhile, it occurs to me that I dressed in an old rugby shirt and shorts.....no socks and shoes.  It was 40 degrees outside and we had to walk outside to the car.  The nurse says he can give him some socks if we wanted.  Perfect. He started to walk out to get them, and said, "He can go ahead and get dressed."

Oh geez. Is he serious?  "Um, sir? Are planning on removing his catheter first?"
He looked stunned and then tickled, "What, you don't want to take that home?"
"Well, we could," I said, "But if I have to hear him talk about needing to pee one more time, you're going to have to admit me to the hospital."  We both laughed. Not Iain.  It just reminded him that he needed to pee.

Once he removed the cath. he left and came back with socks.  Big fuzzy red socks with the white no-skid treads on the bottom.  Oh heavens, please don't let us see anyone we know. He looked like a vagabond that I picked up in the scary part of town.

The nurse helped him off the bed and I have to admit, I wasn't so sure that he'd be able to walk to the car. But he was certain he could - but first he wanted to go the bathroom. (Even though his bladder was completely empy.) So, I grabbed his arm and he waddled down the hall to the E.R. bathroom and just as we got close, some other patient - with much faster walking ability - flew around the corner and went in to the bathroom.  We both stood there with our mouths opened. Oh brother.

The nurse came back with discharge papers. I signed them and he led us to another bathroom in the hosptial parading our fine stylish selves through public. Oh well. It's a hospital. I'm sure it wasn't the worst they saw.

My brother had gotten our car, thank heavens, so we didn't have to walk far.  Iain started walking to the driver's side.
"Excuse me, hon, but you're NOT driving hom." I told him. He got into the car put the seat back and passed out until we got home.

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There's just a tiny bit left to the story. I'll post later tonight. I'll be glad for these posts to be over - I'm sure you will too. Thanks for your concern and espeically your prayers.  He went back to work today. Doing great!

Lifetime Movie - Part II

Well, there's been drama in Lewis Land. 
If you missed the first post, you've got some catching up to do and you might want to
CLICK HERE
to get up to speed.

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Enter the EMS guys with the Ambulance Serivce. Nice as can be. More questions.  More of the same questions.  Heart problems? Diabetes? High blood pressure? Family history of any disease? Drugs?
No. No. No. No. and NO.

They were checking his vitals, blood sugar etc. and still trying to get him to respond...and he actually did.  He just kept telling them that he was just so tired and he must've had a bad dream. Ha. 

One EMS guy asked him if he knew todays date.  Iain actually answered January 29th, which in my opinion was pretty impressive since that was the date when he fell asleep the night before.  What cracked me up was that when Iain answered ~ every one of those 6 guys looked at their watch or their phone to see what the date was.  NONE of them knew the date.  Ironic and pretty funny.  I asked him what day it was and he answered "Friday."  Again, that was the day before.  I knew he couldn't be too far gone.  He also knew that Nate's birthday party was at 2pm that afternoon.  Go figure.

There were a few reasons I wasn't completely freaking out at this point.
1. His breathing remained normal throughout the ordeal.
2. His color was really good....not flushed, or drained, or yellow, bluish or gray.
3. He occasionally made sense and was semi-lucid.
4. My 18 month old was in the house.
5. The EMS guys seemed more puzzled that worried.
6. One of the guys assured me it wasn't a stroke.

They asked me what had been happening in the last 24 hours and what was different.  Obviously the sleeping for 18 hours was a pretty big difference, but mainly it was the snoring thing.  He's snored before.  It's gotten bad lately.  The more tired he is - the worse it gets. But that night/morning it was HORRIBLE.  I heard it from the kitchen.  I actually videos some of it so he could see it when he woke up and understand how bad it's gotten.

"What hospital ma'am?"
One who think that would be an easy question. There are three - all about 20 minutes from our home. One of the guys helped me make the decision. St. Pat's -- it's closest. 
"Are you going to meet us there, ma'am?"
Are there really wives that don't go to the hospital?
"Yes sir.  First I have to get my baby taken care of."

Watching my husband being rolled out of our home on a gurney was too much.
My baby!  I run back to her room where she greets me with the sweetest, "Hi Mommy!"
I break.

Dana dresses her for the birthday party.  Thank heavens she was going too.  That'll be a good diversion.
I run around frantically packing diapers, food, clothes - wondering all the while when I'll see this little pumpkindoodle next.  I just don't know what's coming.
I buckle her in her car seat, kiss her and send her off with Dana.
My stomache knots.
I'm alone.

Dana takes our van, I take Iain's car and start driving to the hospital with my head spinning, tears spilling, prayers flying.  I thought of a dozen people I could call.  I call my brother. I knew he'd answer, be calm and call the right people.

He called me ten minutes later to ask where I was. (Twenty minute drive.) He and my dad were already at the hospital and had made it there even before the ambulance.

As I pull up to the E.R. and am running into the hospial, one of the nice EMS guys spots me and told me he'd take me right to Iain.  I barely nod to my dad and my brother and make it to the ER room just in enough time to have the curtain quickly drawn in my face.

"You'll have to wait a minute." the nurse says.
Dear heavens, what happened? What are they doing?
I'm stunned.

Some young girl behind a laptop down the hall catches my attention.  She says,
"Mrs. Lewis?  You can come here. I need some information."

I just want to see my husband. She knows my name.....she must have information.
"Yes, what can I do?"
"Mrs. Lewis, does your husband have a living will?"
I gaped in awe and felt as my eyes would open any wider, they would surely pop out of my head!
 THAT's the first question?  Did something happen on the way over here? Is he in worse shape than I imagined? Are you kidding me?
I stood in disbelief.
I couldn't answer her.
I had to assess the situation:   No one was running around the ER in a panic. There were no horrible sounds. I realize that this poor girl looked calm - so she couldn't be sitting on a big secret of my husband's condition.  Okay...she must just be from admitting. Breathe. Answer.

After dealing with her questions, and giving myself whiplash from craning to see if I could get into my husband's room, the nice EMS guy waited with me until I could go in.

It turns out that they had to catheterize him which is why they closed the curtain. Would've been nice to have know that as it was happening.

Finally get to see him. He's groggy, but can open his eyes and talk - sort of.

Me: "Well how are you feeling?
Iain: "I'm just tired. I had a bad dream and I have to pee."

Me: "Babe, don't worry. You've got a Foley in and it'll keep your bladder empty."
Iain: "Oh. Okay. I just have to pee."

I asked the WONDERFUL male nurse if the Foley is going make him feel the urge to urinate.
He says it will.  I explain this to Iain.  His response, "Okay....if I could just pee I'll be fine."

Out of the three hours we were in the hosptial, about 2 hours and 45 minutes of them were filled with comments about how he had to pee. Iain remembers none of this.

Oh...and in between the comments about needing to urinate, there were occasional random utterances.
He did keep telling me he loved me and he was sorry.
Then he shook his head and muttered, "I always knew I'd be the first to go."

I had to chuckle - even though it was a little concerning.
"THE FIRST TO GO? I don't know where the HELL you think you're going -- but I can assure you...this is NOT the end for you or for us Do you understand me?."  He shook his head and semi-smiled.

Bloodwork. Cat scan. Consultation with the doctor.  Nothing.
Everything was checking out.
The doctor was puzzled.
More bloodwork.
Nothing.
Bizarre.

CLICK HERE to read Part III

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Okay, I have to end it for the night.  I'll finish the rest of the saga tomorrow.

(Just so you know, Iain's continuing to do really well.)

My own Lifetime Movie - Part I

Sometimes I think the Lifetime network is secretly filming my life. I used to really enjoy watching those kind of dramatic movies, but it started getting to the point where it felt like I was just emotionally worn out after viewing them.  As I look back over the last few years of my life, I am realizing that my own life has been far more intense, dramatic and even comedic than many of these network movies.  When I re-tell some of the stories of my life, sometimes I can hardly believe they really happened.

This past weekend, I "starred" in another intense, almost unbelievable real-life drama.  I'm not sure I've even processed well-enough to write about it yet, but maybe in doing so, it will all begin to sink in. (It's a long story, so I am warning that I may have to post it in segments.)

Last week, was a semi-typical week for us. Iain got called into work last Sunday and had a couple of long  days at work during the week. The last six months have been extremetly demanding and stressful at work for him (and us) but we've just been rolling with the punches and thankful to have a good job. (He's a chemical engineer at a local plant.)

He hasn't been sleeping very well and even when he's been able to sleep, he hasn't felt rested when he wakes.  We've all been there. 

Thursday night he had an extremely difficult time sleeping and got only about 3 hours.  So, Friday, when he came home, I expected he'd be tired.  It was obvious that he was exhausted when he began falling asleep rocking Gianna, so I told him just to go to bed. It was 6:30pm.

Gianna is usually up anytme between 6:30 and 7:30am on any given day.  Iain and I are both early risers and he is usually the one who will get her up and ready on the weekends.  On Saturday, I figured it would be the same way ~ especially since he was in bed at 6:30 the night before.  I heard her chattering around 7:30am and thought I'd go and get her and let Iain sleep in.

We played and had breakfast and went into our normal routine.  I worked at delaying her morning nap a little later than normal so she'd be good and ready for the birthday party for our 3 year old godchild. I felt good about letting Iain catch up on his rest, even though I didn't sleep all that well the night before.  As the morning went on, I began getting a little concerned that he was still sleeping.  He was actually snoring really loudly - more loudly than usual when he's tired.

After I put Gianna down for her nap, I did a little cleaning, and then thought I'd better wake Iain.  I figured he'd be exhausted if he slept too much.  He stirred a bit when I tried to wake him and managed to tell me he was really tired and needed to sleep a little while longer.  I told him how long he'd been sleeping (18 hours) and he groggily said, "Just a little while."

I was a little miffed that my morning was already gone, but knew I had to get showered and dressed. When I got out of the shower 20 minutes after I woke him up, decided he needed to get up and help me get things ready to leave on time. 

This time was much harder to wake him. At first I thought he was just giving me a hard time.  But then, fear started to creep in along with an awareness that something wasn't right.  I started asked him questions and he could hardly answer me. He was slurring his words and my hard was beating hard and fast.

He tried assuring me that he could get up and I begged him to try. I told him he was scaring me and if he couldn't get up, we'd have to go to the hospital.  I pulled him upright by his arms and he fell back onto the bed.

And in the midst of the mounting stress, little Miss Gianna wakes up and is happily summoning us from her bedroom.  I figure she's be a good motivation to get Iain moving so I run to get her and put her next to Iain.  She's talking to him and kissing him and he can't even open his eyes.  This is when I knew something was SERIOUSLY WRONG.

I brought her back to her room and put her in her crib, telling her she had to play in her bed for a little while.  Amazingly she was fine with that.

I went back and told Iain that I had to take him to the hospital telling him that he had to help me. I tried again to get him up and on his feet.  He said he could do it. He wobbled to his feet and then started stumbling and then crashing into the wall.  THIS IS NOT GOOD. 

While he was on his feet I thought I needed to try to get him into the living room.  He kept trying to convince me he was okay and that he could walk. I wanted to believe him but nothing about his demeanor gave me any indication that he was capable.  He tried and he looked like an inebriated clown bouncing off the walls of the hallway....almost like a ball in a pinball machine.  I got him to the couch but he went completely limp and rolled onto the floor.

Then - I could not wake him. THIS IS NOT GOOD.

I picked up the phone and called my friend, Dana, who thankfully lives 10 minutes away. "Something's wrong with Iain. I can't wake him up. Can you get come and get Gianna." 

"I'm on my way." she replied.

At this point, I knew I had to call 911.

"911 - where is your emergency?"

Where? Are you sersious? Doesn't my address flash up on their screen when I call?  Even Domino's has that nifty little feature!
"I'm at my home (insert address) and I can't wake my husband. He's breathing, but he can't wake up."
Did I just utter those words? This is not happening.
"Is that in between ______ Street and _______Street?"
Are you FLIPPING KIDDING ME?
"Yes ma'am. It's right on the corner."
"What seems to be the problem?"
"It's my husband. I can't wake him up. He's only 41 (actually he's 38 - but I quoted his age incorrectly at least 3 different times througout the phone call)  He's breathing. His heart's beating. I just can't wake him up."
"Is he on drugs?"
"Um...no ma'am. He's in perfect health. No drugs. Ever. No alcohol. I just can't wake him up. He's been stressed. He hasn't been sleeping much or well."
***INSERT A STRING OF QUESTIONS THAT DID NOTHING BUT FRUSTRATE ME***
"Okay ma'am. I'm going to patch you through to  Ambulance service. ---
You have GOT to be kidding me?
***INSERT ANOTHER FLIPPING STRING OF QUESTIONS THAT I'VE ALREADY BEEN ASKED AND ANSWERED!***
One of the last things I remember the 911 lady telling me was,
"You know, you don't have to just use your voice to rouse him?"
Yes? Yes? Do you want me to guess them or do you care to give me some suggestions?
Then she said,
"The ambulance is on it's way ma'am. Just keep him lying on his left side and keep trying to wake him."

It occurs to me that his blood sugar might be low since he hadn't eaten since Friday afternoon. I found some baby organic apple juice that I managed to get him to drink. I waited for him to perk up. He didn't.  I tried to get him to drink another tiny bottle. This time he couldn't.

At this point. There were a couple of issues that were pretty critical in addition to the fact that my 38 year old husband was lying lifeless on the living room floor and my 18 month old was playing in her crib oblivious to the fact that we experiencing an enormous crisis and I had been suffiently ticked off by the 911 call:
#1 - Iain sleeps in his skivies (sorry, hon) and I felt like he deserved a little bit of dignity before we had a houseful of people
#2 - I had just gotten out of the shower when I decided to "wake" Iain up, so even though I had my makeup on, I ALSO was in my underwear. (Pardon the image I'm painting - but it's pertinent information considering  a bunch of emergency responder guys are getting ready to fly through my front door.)

So, I frantically dashed around throwing clothes on me and dressing my grown, passed out, dead-weight, not-so-petite husband.  I can't begin to tell you the things that were going through my mind. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

I got us both dressed with seconds to spare before Dana rushes throught the door.  Honestly, there's really no one better I could have asked for during an emergency. She's like me - great DURING the emergency ~ fall apart AFTER the emergency.

She runs to Iain to check him and says, "Oh my Gosh. He's soaking wet! Has he been sweating like this the whole time?"

Not sweat.  I used the cold water like the frustrating 911 lady told me to.  It didn't work.

"Please just get the baby, Dana.  The ambulance is on its way."
Dana grabs Max (our little dog) and goes in the nursery with Gianna.

And I'm on the floor...alone...with my husband.
PLEASE GOD. PLEASE.
My adreneline must've been pumping well enough to allow me to lift him up to a sitting position. I propped him on his extended arm and leaned him against me. I held his face in my hands just kept kissing him and telling him how much I loved him and how much I needed him to help me to get him better.
I refused to let terror register on my face...just in case he opened his eyes for a second.  I wanted him to see "calm" in me.  I smiled at him.
"Both Gianna and I need you to be really strong right now."
Nothing.
"You have to stay here with me, Iain."  I didn't want to go there.
It became abundantly clear that this could very well be one of the most life-defining moments of my life. 
I didn't want to embrace the possibility of what could be happening. But at the same time...if this was my last time alone with him....I wanted to say what needed to be said.  I HATE THIS!
When we marry, we both say, "Til death do us part." or "As long as we both shall live."
But when we say those vows, we focus on LOVE part, not on the DEATH part.

Death will separate us. Period. One of us will suffer through the grief of losing the other. Not a fun thought - but very real.

It was very real to me at that moment on that Saturday at 1:00 pm.

After what seemed like forever....the 2 Emergency responders came....and a few minutes later....another four of them came. Bad dream. Lifetime movie. Whatever this was....it just didn't seem real.

CLICK HERE to read Part II

*** Okay, remember when I said I might not be able to finish this in one post?  Well, we're at that point.  I cannot write anymore tonight.  I really am not trying to create an irritating cliff-hanger. Honest.    But I need some sleep.

I'll fast forward to the end and then fill in the blanks later:
AFTER A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL AND A BATTERY OF TESTS,

 IAIN IS FINE and DOING REMARKABLY WELL. 

WE ARE HOME AND HE IS TAKING IT EASY.
We don't have a whole lot of answers,
but I believe we're out of immediate danger.
That's my prayer.
More later.
Prayers welcomed and appreciated.