So, today is Gianna's Gotcha Day. It's hard to believe that four years ago today, we didn't even KNOW about her existence...and then at 6pm we got 'the call' that would change our lives.
As soon as she awoke one year ago (freshly three years old), I chronicled the events of that first "Gotcha Day" for her. Her eyes brightened and her sweet puffy morning face errupted into a smile. "Oh, thank you , Mommy!.....for Gotcha me." (Melt my heart.)
Today, I think of and remember Gianna's birthmother - who may not have the same happy thoughts attached to this day. I pray that there is a calming peace in her heart - even though she can only wonder about the rest of the story. Maybe one day, we can embrace and we can fill in the blanks for each other. I would love for that to happen. Until then, I just offer prayers of thanksgiving for the selfless decision she made and gift she gave on that day four years ago.
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When I look back at the posts of this blog and the memories that they hold, I'm so grateful for having taken the time to record them. I've written about funny moments, developmental milestones, little field trips and friendships, but many times I write about the struggles, pitfalls, and challenges I've encountered as I've parented this precious child. Most of the latter is my method of processing and my attempt to be authentic as I share my parenting tales. I don't want my child to ever think that I thought parenting was a breeze or that I always had a plan or knew what to do in any given situation. Sometimes I'm at my witt's end....fairly regularly, I would say.
But I want to be sure on THIS day to share how special I think our little girl is.
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When she was only four days old, we had to drive with her to the Sherrif's Department in order for Iain and I to be fingerprinted for a 4th background check. (Adoption requirement.)
She was five pounds of a whisper and we toted her along in her carrier as we waited for the preoccupied deputy to help us.
The poor deputy must've had a long day because she seemed frustrated and simply outdone. Even though we were very friendly to her, she hadn't even raised her eyes to make contact with us. As she lifted her head to invite us back to the fingerprint area, she finally noticed us -- and Gianna. We told her about our surprise miracle and her face (and her heart) seemed to soften. At one point, she stared at our new baby for what seemed to be a long time. She slowly raised her head and looked at Iain and I with intensity and said with such seriousness,
"This is a special child. There is something about her that is different and....very special."
I totally believed her. I was just surprised a total stranger saw it too.
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This gotcha day is a little different as it's the first one that we won't share with her daddy. Iain and I always said we'd share her birthday with our family and friends, but her Gotcha Day would be for the three of us. *sigh* Now the two of us. Only Iain experienced the special miracle of that day in the same way I did. I miss not having him to share that memory with. Now, it's my job to share it with Gianna.