Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Back to Bloggin'

Gee whiz - it's been a whole month since I've posted!  I think that's the longest I've gone. I certainly didn't intend to be an absentee blogger, but surviving a gruesome wave of grief as well as the holidays and a visit from my inlaws all became my major focus.  Survival always seems to be my focus these days. 

Interestingly, after the holidays I feel like I have hit an emotional plateau. In other words, there are hours, even days when I am not leveled by unrelenting grief.  I know it won't last forever, and I don't even know if it's another phase of numbness, but it is nice to be able to breathe for extended bits of time.  It's also the first time that Gianna and I are having good, melt-down free moments at the same time. That's been SO helpful.

Another reason for my blogging absence is that I don't really know how to blog during the intense grief without freaking people out. I'm still working through that and have decided I might keep a private blog just for me to record unedited feelings and experiences.

I have come to realize what a valuable processing tool this blog has become for me when I received an email from a precious friend who quoted a post I'd written shortly after Iain died. I was moved by the quote and then finally discovered it was me she was quoting.  It helped me to realize that uncensored, stream of consciousness writing comes from a raw, real place from deep within and that I need to allow it to pour out of me. It can be cleansing, inspired and authentic - and helpful for later down the road.   Anyway, even though I don't always enjoy the discipline of writing - I do enjoy and appreciate having written. 

So, I'm back. In an effort to catch up with all my 2011 posts so I can have my Blog Book printed, I'm going to be pumping out the posts and they'll probably be out of order.  I might back date them so most people won't notice, but if keep up through a reader service - watch out. :)  Buckle up for a deluge of posts, pictures, videos, updates, etc. 

Thank you for all of you who are praying for me/us.

This weeks mark the five month mark.  Unbelievable. You've prayed us this far - please don't stop.  This isn't a sprint:  it's a marathon.
(Not a big fan of marathons these days.)


  1. The picture of you and Giana is beautiful! My family and I are still praying for you and Giana.
    God's Blessings be with you both.

  2. Looking forward to all your posts....still think and pray about you and Gianna daily.

  3. Please don't worry about freaking people out.


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