Jelly Book - Volume 11 ~ Winter 2012-13

Oh the treasured nuggets that come out of my child's mouth!  I'd been keeping these little Jelly Book entries on my phone but it's a hard habit to keep up with.  I know I missed a ton of them, but here are the ones I could recall.

"WHAT is the statue of livery doing in front of Wal-mart?" (Said while passing the poor workers dressed in costume in front of Liberty Tax Services.

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G:  Guess what? I petted a Grape Dane at school today. 

Me:  A what?

G:  A Grape Dane.  He's a Ferapee dog.  He loves on people who are sick to help them get better.

God bless the therapy dogs.

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SInce she was VERY young, I've always been able to understand most everything she says. I've seldom been frustrated by trying to decipher her speech. But one day after school, she said,

"You say uh-uh."

Me:  I said what?

G: No. You say uh-uh.

Me: What did Mommy say.

G: No. You say uh-uh.

After a good five minutes of running around that circle and asking a ton of questions I figured it out. They learned a new letter at school that day.  The Letter U.

Hence the phrase, "U's say uh-uh"

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While getting into the car on a particularly cold morning, Gianna noticed the that windows were iced over. "Mommy, LOOK! There's frosting on the windows!" 

Then as we began driving through the neighborhood, she realized that the rooftops and grass were dusted with white.  "It looks like Frosted Jack came last night, Mommy!"

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Playing in the tub I heard her say, "Oh look at this gourmet." 

Me:  Do you know what that means? 

G:  No, I made it up.

Me: Well, actually it's a really word.  It means fancy food.

She was amazed she guess a real word.

Next morning at breakfast she was very proud to use her new word.

"Well Mommy, you look very gourmet today."

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Gianna brought a little craft home from school last week.  When I asked what it was she told me, "It's for Gram Hawk day. 

Clueless as to what she was referring, I asked for clarification.

Her explanation?

"It's when the Gram Hawk comes out of his hole and if he sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter."

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She had a park date with a school friend who had to leave to get ready for gymnastics.  Gianna was excited and surprised to learn her friend took gymnastics and was full of questions about the flips and tricks her friend was learning.

When we got home Gianna told me, "Mommy, can you BELIEVE that Nacey takes Olympics!"

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Why do the mens have nipples but no boobies?

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While grocery shopping at Wal-mart, I turned down the soup isle and was met by a most offensive smell...that wasn't food related.  Once Gianna got a whiff of if, she groaned and loudly asked with a disgusted tone, "WHAT is that smell.?"  There were people who in close proximity so I quickly shushed her while explaining that we don't want to say those things so loudly.  When she asked why we couldn't do that I said, "Gianna, it could be that someone may have passed gas. We wouldn't want to embarrass them."

Her eyes grew wide and with a dismissive roll of them she said without missing a beat, "I don't think someone passed gas - I think someone passed poo-poo!"

I laughed for a good 15 minutes.

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G: Hey, Mommy can I wear on your 'boobie holders?"

Me: First of all, it's called a bra and second of all, I think it's big enough to wear you.

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I bought her several classic movies for Christmas.  One night we sat down to watch one of her choice.  Ready?   "The Lizard of Oz" 

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When we moved in to my parents' home Gianna slept in bed with me for about three months which was good for both of us.  About a week after I moved her in to her own room she told me she no longer wanted to sleep in there. When I asked why she said it was because there were ghosts in there.

Me:  Gianna, there's no ghosts in that room.

Gianna:  There ARE, Mommy.

Me: (quickly realizing I'd better validate her fears) Well, you're in luck.  I happy to have Ghost Spray. C'mon, let's go get get it.

(Astonished by my comment - followed me to my room where I grabbed some Body Spray I never use except to occasionally freshen my sheets.)

Gianna:  I cannot believe you have Ghost Spray!!!!! What does it do?

Me:  Watch. (I sprayed her entire room, under her bed, in the closet, the whole deal.)  OK, you're good!  No ghosts will come anywhere NEAR this spray.

Gianna:  Thank you so much!

Fast forward about a week later when we were getting ready for school.  I was putting on my make-up and she was watching me intently.  As I put powder on my face, she asked, "Can I have some of that?"  I was happy to oblige since I knew it wouldn't show on her. Then I put on my perfume and she excitedly asked if she could try some. 

Me:  Oh no, that's Mommy's expensive perfume. But here, you can have some of this.

(I quickly swiped a small bottle off my shelf and sprayed a tiny mist in the air in front of her.)

Her eyes BUGGED OUT of her head and she quickly asked, "IS THAT GHOST SPRAY????"

I stammered as I was trying to save face and concoct some sort of story until she interrupted with exasperation and an eye roll,  "GREAT! Now I'm gonna smell like a GHOST!"

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G:  Mommy, can we play ant piles in my hiney?

Me:  WHAT?

G: Can we play ant piles in my hiney?
Me: Gianna, what are you talking about?
G:  Remember that game we played at Matthew's house? Can we play that?

Me: Gianna, it's called Ants in Your Pants