Here we go again...

Some of you might remember a few months ago when I posted a lovely story called: Different Trips to the Same Place. It talked about the fact that deciding to have a baby was like planning a trip to Australia where most people planned, flew and returned with little incidence.  And then there were those who were unable to fly - for whatever reason - and they had to take a boat ride to Australia which took much longer and was often more arduous and misunderstood. (I'm paraphrasing, but you can read that post here.)

ANYWAY.... with the ink on Gianna's birth certificate scarcely dry, Iain and I are boarding the proverbial boat to Australia and we are going to try this whole adoption journey again.
This time we begin with a whole new agency.

"Are we crazy?" you ask.

 Why yes, as a matter of fact we are!  Some days I wonder if I've lost my mind - thinking that I can do another little baby at my age in ADDITION to our busy little Tornado.  If I were ten years younger, and if Gianna were ten decibels quieter and if she were ten times less sensitive to the slightest noise when she sleeps, and if I were able to miraculously locate this little Energizer Bunny's off switch - I wouldn't give it a second thought.  I always imagined myself having a small brood of kids - maybe five...or at least three - but as my good God reminds me over and over and over again - I am NOT in control, and HIS plan is always better than mine.

Having another child is our heart's desire and Gianna is another reason we'd love to expand our family.  She is so social and loving, and we'd love to gift her with a sibling. But if it's God will for her to be our only child - we are thrilled with that. We know we hit the jackpot with her.  That's actually some of the reason we're actively moving forward at this point:  if down the road Gianna asks why we didn't have any more kids, we can tell her that we tried, but God had other plans for our little family. We're also getting the wheels in gear because I don't feel I have too much time left to be open to starting with another newborn. I NEVER imagined starting my family in my 40's (yes, go ahead and gasp) but I supposed that was God's plan all along. 

Gianna's adoption was a private one facilitated through a local crisis pregnancy/pro-life center.  Our attorney worked with all parties involved.  Even though our attorney still does adoptions, the Center no longer does.  Because of that specific closed door - we felt like we needed to explore another option in the event there are no prospective birth parents matching with us through our attorney.  So, we did some research and connected with an agency here in town and have been working with them for about six weeks.

I've written about the things we had to go through to become "adoption ready" a couple of years ago.  If that whole process wasn't difficult and extensive and exposing enough - with this new agency....we have to start from SCRATCH! Ugh.  All that vulnerability with a whole new set of people.  A whole new home study.  All new interviews. All new references.  All new clearances through the federal, state and local law enforcements. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh and UGH.  And then there's the good ol' non-refundable deposits....baby or not.

Truthfully, it hasn't been all that bad. I just keep reminding myself that this is part of my "labor."  Our adoption worker is precious and a professional and a real go-getter. Working with her has been a pleasure.  And the other great thing is that we don't have to pay the BIG chunk until a baby is legally placed with us.....so even if a birth mother changes her mind at any time until legal placement - we wouldn't lose all of our money (which sadly is not too uncommon with domestic adoptions.)  That was a big draw for us. The financial investment is big and occasionally overwhelming - but we have to keep reminding ourselves that we really don't blink when we have to invest large sums for our homes and cars (well - we blink - but we expect that stress to our bank account).  Children are FAR more valuable than those other things. Now don't get me wrong - adoptive couples don't BUY babies (that's illegal) but they do pay for services related to the baby, the mother and legal and administrative costs.  I wrote more about that HERE and HERE.

We have always known that, because of our late start in the game, we'd have to be open to another baby sooner that maybe we'd be comfortable with.  In fact, we've received six calls from six different people with possible leads to another baby....the first coming when Gianna was only 5 weeks old.  None of the calls made it very much further than that....which was really okay with us.  We knew we were waiting for OUR next baby, not THE next baby.  And for me, all those calls were very clear messages from God telling us to have faith and that He was looking out for us.

We've already been through so many ups and downs regarding adoption.  Making ourselves so vulnerable to all that potential drama is a little daunting. And on those days when Gianna's in overdrive and wears us down the core - we look at each other and say, "Another baby? What are we thinking?" And when look at my friends children in middle school, high school and college - I wonder what I think I'm doing?  And heaven help me on those days when I actually do the math and figure out how old I'll be when my kids hit certain milestones -- if I'm even here to enjoy them.  (Mortality becomes very real at my age.)  Even though I refuse to let fear dictate my actions - there are very real concerns attached to being a more "seasoned" mother.  (Sometimes I make myself feel better when I see Julia Roberts, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman - all my age! - jumping on the baby train.  And the air is let out of my balloon when I think about their housekeepers and nannies who made their lives a little easier.)

I'm not exactly sure where all this will lead and I'm not exactly sure if this journey will end with adding another baby to our family, but Iain and I feet called to be pro-active at this time and open whatever doors we can - making room for God to move.  We certainly have our hands full with Little Bit, but we are willing to muster up the courage, energy and fortitude it will take to grow our family.

So, we finish our home study and we wait.  Advent is the perfect time to begin this special wait.

We are asking for prayer for all the women who are experiencing crisis pregnancies - that they may make wise and loving choices for the children they carry.  We also remember all the other waiting couples and families anticipating pregnancy or adoption - especially those who have yet to become parents. And we ask for prayer and support throughout this upcoming "boat ride" and that we are able to open our hearts to God's will.

So, here we go - ready to take the plunge again.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered....I'm YOURS!

Well, we completed the year-long wait that our State requires once a child is officially placed in your home. And on Monday, September 14th at 9:16 am, our sweet little munchkin was officially named Gianna Elyse Lewis and her adoption was finalized. So now the State has declared what we have know from the very beginning....Gianna Elyse is our daughter - forever and ever. AMEN!

Iain & I were a surprised by how little we were affected by the approach of the big day. I guess, for us, it just really doesn't change anything. I'm sure our past court memories of failed adoptions and unjust outcome may have clouded it a tiny bit - and appearing before the very judge that presided over the other case was certainly not our ideal situation. But we weren't nervous....we just stood before him with our heads held high.

There was actually one point when the judge asked me if there was anything else I wanted the court to know. Oh how I fantasized of what I would say if given the opportunity!! It would have been an awesome, dramatic scene out Law & Order PMU (Pissy Mothers Unit). You can imagine I had a script ready for that answer...and Lord knows I was tempted to give him an earful. But instead, I kept my mouth shut and smiled. (Miracle, I know.) I figured being held in contempt of court would not be a good adoption present for my daughter. :)

We're glad to have everything finalized. We're glad to finally have paperwork to coincide with our reality. We're anxiously anticipating the new birth certificate that will be issued by the State with OUR names as mother and father. But overall -- it just was a day. A really good day. A reminder of our miracle and blessings day. I guess that IS pretty special.

One of my good long-time friends (who is also be a priest) was with us at the courthouse and shared with us that very day was the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross. What a perfect day to celebrate this momentous occasion. We've had embraced many crosses over the last five years of our marriage - including our adoption journey. What a beautiful reminder from our Savior that even though it doesn't feel like it in the midst of it all - there is always triumph in the Cross.

We were so pleased to have beautiful weather, family and some special friends, a super short waiting period before we were called....and a positive court experience. Here are more pictures of our Adoption Day:

The Weight of Words

Isn’t amazing the weight that some words carry? I remember participating in a leadership training workshop years ago where the presenter spoke about how words aren’t just words. The carry thoughts, judgments, ideas, prejudices, etc. far deeper than the words themselves. For example, an older single man is referred to as a bachelor whereas an older single woman is referred to as a spinster or an old maid. That’s an obvious example of the archaic ideas and judgments that lie underneath those words. Or “Oh, you’re just a housewife or stay-at-home mom.” The word “just” is a seemingly harmless word, but it can be hurtful and offensive if used in that context because of the idea that it represents. There’s a million examples of such unfortunate uses or misuses of words and phrases. I constantly find myself having to tweak some of my language to represent a healthier, more inclusive, or less judgmental state of mind.

On Tuesday, the State came to do our final home study before the finalization of Gianna’s adoption on the 14th. It was painless and just a formality. Visiting with the Case Worker (also an adoptive parent) I was reminded about how much negative language was present in the world of adoption. Most of it is just “old” phrasing that just hasn’t been updated. But as an adoptive mother, I do see the difference it can make. I’m still learning and training myself to use better, more accurate language, but here are a few things I have learned. I wanted to share a few phrasings that I hear fairly often….and the weight of the words they carry.

“Do you know or know anything about her real mother?”
Well, I am her “real” mother. What most people are referring to is her birthmother, biological mother or natural mother. When I mention that, people often say, “Oh, you know what I mean.” And I do. But eventually my child is going to wonder why people don’t think I’m her real mother. We will always acknowledge G’s birthmother role in our lives whether or not we ever meet her. I’m happy to share the title of mother with the woman who gave Gianna life.

“Why did her birthmother give her up.”
Instead of “giving her up,” we describe it as being “placed for adoption” or “she chose an adoption plan for her child.” Some babies are abandoned. It’s a sad reality. But my child was not abandoned (as is the case for many children in adoptive families). Her mother loved her so much that she wanted a life for her that she was unable to provide. I want G to always know that. I’m sure she’ll question all of the why’s and wherefores in years to come – but I don’t ever want her to question whether or not she was loved. As with many/most birthmothers/birth families, it was a very difficult decision. I guess the best way to think of it is that the CHILD isn’t given up or given away – but the right to parent is.

Along those same lines.

"Why didn’t she want to “keep” the baby?"

Instead of “keep” the more appropriate term would be “choose to parent.”

“Did her birth mother do drugs?”
We have a closed adoption due to the request of the birthmother. We know only a little bit about the birth mother/family. Whatever we know about the birthmother is confidential. We’ll share what we know with Gianna when she’s old enough and interested. I am SO bad about feeling obligated to answer questions that people ask me. I’m trying to give myself permission to not answer certain questions. Adoptive Families Magazine suggests that we do a disservice to our children by answering many of these questions in public and in front of the kids. It’s HER history and HER story and we really don’t have the right to share it all with complete strangers (or friends/family for that matter.) That will be her prerogative as she gets older. I just have to get over myself when I’m feeling rude in telling that to people who ask.

“Was she illegitimate?”
Well, actually she’s very legitimate. If you mean, was she born to parents who were not married to each other? Yes. Illegitimate is a terrible label for any child – adopted or not.

“I don’t know if I could ever love a child that wasn’t my own.”
Well, she is actually is my own, so it’s not an issue from that standpoint. (And if you're a believer, then NONE of our children are really our own.) But I know that what they’re really saying is “How could I love a child that wasn’t born to me or that doesn’t have my DNA?” I guess it’s sort of like the common concern when people are expecting their 2nd child…. “How can I ever love another child as much as I love my first?” You just do. It comes with the child and with the openness of your heart. You can’t always imagine it – but it happens….usually instantly and without explanation.

“Are you going to tell her that she’s adopted?”
She will always know. There’s not going to be a magic age when we sit down with her and have “the talk.” We continue to pray for her birthmother and birth family daily and she’ll be joining in those prayers as she grows up. We’re so proud of our adoption journey and we thank God that He chose to grow our family in that way.

Bear with me on this next statement: We won’t tell her that she IS adopted. We will tell her that she WAS adopted. I know. That may seem too subtle to make any difference. But it does. Let me explain:
Adoption is the way Gianna joined our family. It’s not who she is. We never think of her as our adopted daughter. She’s our daughter. We are an adoptive family. It’s part of our history – not a label. If we keep referring to Gianna as our “adopted child” we basically saying she’s different that if she was born to us naturally. She’s not. She’s just our child. For us, “adopted” is a verb, not a noun.

FORGETTING:
** I have the best memory of being at my dear friend’s house – peaking into the nursery watching her first baby sweetly sleep. She whispered to me, “I can believe how something that big came out of me.” Not an uncommon statement uttered by new moms….except the fact that she and her husband had adopted this sweet angel baby. I was so surprised by that comment and responded, “Well, Leesa, he didn’t come out of you.” We both just cracked up. She was really serious. I found that so funny that she really could forget she didn’t give birth to him – that is, UNTIL Gianna came along. Now, I totally get it. I constantly catch myself saying, “when she was born” or “when I had her.” I feel like I gave birth to her. Heaven knows I went through labor! J

And I LOVE the fact that other people are now forgetting we adopted her. One of my friends said, “It’s so amazing how blue her eyes are and how dark you and Iain’s are.” I was a little confused until I realized that she completely forgot that she was not our biological child. She was embarrassed. I was elated.

There’s a story of a mother who had five children, three children were born to them and two were adopted. When people would say to her, “Now which ones are the adopted ones?” She just looked down at all her five kids, “You know, I just can’t seem to remember.” It’s so easy to be offended by insensitive or ignorant remarks, but I hope that I will always be kind in my responses – even if I feel the need to educate.

“Where did you get her?”
I am SO tempted to being really sarcastic in answering a lot of these questions. I would just love to tell people we “got” her at Babies R US or that she was the prize with our Happy Meal at McDonalds. I know people are curious if we chose Domestic or International adoption and why. (Domestic adoptions take place within the US and International adoptions outside of the US.) People just want to know if we went through an agency or a private attorney or the State.

This next one has to be one of my favorite:
“How did you get a white one?”
A white one? Like she was a puppy in a litter! We didn't put in an order. We were open to adopting a baby - and that's what we got. The funny thing is, we really expected to adopt bi-racial or multi-racial children. And if given the chance to do so, we’d take it in a heartbeat. It just so happened that Gianna’s birthparents were Caucasian. I just tell people, “We didn’t choose her. God chose us.” I’m sure if I were parenting a bi-racial or black child (gasp) this post would be a lot longer. (Because of people’s preconceived ideas and their inability to censor their thoughts before they speak. :)

“How much did she cost?”
Ya gotta love people, huh? Contrary to popular belief, we didn’t buy our child. Just like any services rendered by agencies, attorneys, doctors, hospitals etc. there are fees associated with them. If you give birth to your baby, from the time you find out you’re expecting, there are expenses associated with each aspect of carrying and delivering your baby – even if there aren’t complications, fertility issues, illnesses, etc. Same is true for adoption. Most people just want to know how it all works, what the expenses are, etc. When I tell people that it can range from very little (adoptions through the State) or very expensive (in excess of $50,000.00) Most are somewhere in between. SOME people will say, “Well, what did YOU pay?” Just like in any other situation, it’s not good etiquette to ask about people’s personal finances. Every adoptive situation will vary, so knowing what we “paid” will not necessarily help you.

So, you get the idea. I’m sure in the near future I’ll think of several more words or phrases that carry such weight. If you've unknowingly used some of this negative terminology, don't worry. I have too. I’m still learning myself. I continue to catch myself using outdated language. I don’t beat myself up – I just correct myself and move on. Poet Maya Angelou says, “When you know better, you do better.” Here’s to doing better for our children.

I'll be getting off my soap box now. And since you good people have made it THIS far in the post without falling asleep, I'll throw you a little bone. It has nothing to do with the topic - it just makes me and my daughter laugh every day. I thought my husband would have a fit - but he laughed too. :)

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Trip to Australia

Different Trips to the Same Place Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place. You've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip. So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia.

It seems there is no seat for you: You'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait - and wait - and wait. Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax, you'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"By boat?!" you say, "going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It's a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than air. People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible: traveling by sea is so easy."
You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia.
Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you got there, but in the place itself.

By: Diane Armitage (inspired by the story: “Welcome to Holland” - a great read for those who have been blessed with children who have any kind of challenges or special needs)

Dedicated to all my friends who are planning their "trips to Australia" - just unsure of the method of transportation.

Adoption: Looking Back - Looking Ahead

A year ago today we went to court and were granted "placement" of our sweet baby girl. That hearing basically made us legal guardians of Gianna with the intent to adopt her. In the state of Louisiana, this the first (legal) step toward adoption.
(Gianna on her Placement Day) Then, there's a YEAR LONG waiting period. Most people get nervous when I tell them this, with their first question being, "Is there a chance you could lose her?" (That's an understandable thought - especially after we survived a previous horrible court experience losing the two children that we parented for six weeks.)

The answer is no. They state really is making sure WE are wanting to do this and are committed to this child forever and ever. Amen. Basically, it's just a formality and the year is a customary waiting period for all adoptive families in our state. We are not on trial nor do we have to jump through hoops to try and "keep" her. All the hoop jumping is done prior to children coming into the home. (I take that back, we have to endure another home study - this time by OCS.)

If you aren't aware of all the prep-work involved in becoming "approved" and acquiring a home study...let me just say that it's quite an undertaking. The paperwork and home study part of the process is grueling, intense, somewhat lengthy, exposing all vulnerability.

You are subject to intense examination of your home, your marriage, your medical history, relationship histories, family histories, financial situation, educational background, mental/emotional state, reason for choosing adoption, infertility journey (if applicable), parenting philosophies, strengths and weaknesses about ourselves and our spouse, opinions about various kinds of adoptions and what type of children we are open to parenting, and things you never thought you'd share with anyone other than your spouse.

You must have references, reference checks, background checks, fingerprints sent to local, state and federal government, medical exams, pages and pages of paper work, hours and hours of inquisition (home study visits). We had to write our autobiography (ours was 50 pages typed - single space - I'm sure everyone isn't as wordy as me.) We were questioned on all this information as a couple and separately by a social worker (than heavens ours was a dream - and now a friend.) And then we have to wait for a report on our "readiness" which is shared with the attorney or adoption agency and the judge hearing the case. Yep, even more people to be "all up in your business."

(Our attorney who would move heaven and earth for this baby girl - and any other child.)

People (usually close friends and family) often are angered that we had to endure such scrutiny. Personally, I think it made us better people and better parents. As someone who has advocated for children most of her life, I really do understand why the process is in place. I was never angry about having to go through such an exposing process. However, I was/am frustrated with the fact that everyone else becoming parents doesn't. (Primarily those people making reckless choices in their lives.) Can you imagine what a difference that would make in this world if everyone had this preparation before becoming parents?

Several people, in an effort to give me support/comfort, have told me, "You are so lucky you didn't have to go through labor." I know they meant well, but there is a lot that they may not have considered. In many cases, the road to DECIDE to adopt is filled with difficulty, pain and uncertainty. If infertility was an issue - that is a consuming experience that is full of pain, questions, frustrations, etc. If miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, still birth, infant death, failed adoption(s) etc. were issues - the pain attached to those experiences is enormous.

Once the decision is made to adopt, then the labor really begins. Filling out the paperwork and autobiography was mentally exhausting. I told my social worker that if would be happy if I never had to write or read anything about myself ever ahead. (And here I am typing a blog post. Isn't life funny.) I can't even begin to describe what the "waiting" is like....wondering when (and many times IF) that call would ever come. And, of course, with domestic adoption there's that ever-present fear that you'll deal with a birthmother who changes her mind either before, at birth or after the child's been in your home and part of your family.

So, with a wink and a smile, my response to those people deeming me "lucky" for clepping out of labor is, "Mine may not have looked anything like yours, but you be can sure that I've experienced labor - and it lasted a whole lot longer than you might imagine."

***********************************
In just a few weeks. (September 14, 2009) we will be heading back to family court for the Finalization of Gianna's Adoption. Here name will legally be the one we gave her...."Gianna Elyse." (Now, it is the one her birthmother gave her.) A new birth certificate will be issued with our names as her parents. (Can you believe we don't have a birth certificate?) That will allow us to apply for a social security card. Who would have ever thought that a birth certificate and social security card would mean so much?

The only real disappointment attached to this exciting upcoming court experience is that we have to go before the judge who presided over the unjust adoption nightmare we endured earlier last year. It was very messy and, without going into details, very much of a legal and moral outrage. We couldn't get a different judge due to some technical complications. So, for whatever prayers you can offer our way, we'd be most grateful. I'm just going to have to put on my "big girl panties" and hold my head high and make the day a memorable one for my daughter and family (without being held in contempt of court.) :)
(The judge who presided over our placement hearing last year. I actually went to high school with her. I WISH we had her this go 'round.)

I would imagine that my experience in becoming a mother is just like most mother's. I'm pretty sure many of us would say, "The process was long, challenging and arduous, but oh-so worth it!"

We feel blessed to have been gifted with this journey toward adoption.
Looking forward to September 14th, Baby Girl!

* My prayers go out to all those women/couples out there who are journeying toward parenthood and who are enduring decisions, frustations and waiting.

Gotcha!

Today is Gianna's "Gotcha Day." Many adoptive families celebrate their child's birthday as well as their "Gotcha Day" --- the day we Gotcha (got you). For some, it's the date they met their child (that's us), for others it's the day they went to court, and for others - the day their adoption was finalized.

On her birthday, we'll celebrate Gianna's life; on her Gotcha Day we'll celebrate becoming a family. It's actually a bigger deal for Iain and I since we weren't there when Gianna was born, nor did we even know about her. She was an absolute surprise....up until the very last minute. From the time we got "The Call" until the time we came home with her - only 4 and a half hours past. Some people think that 9 months isn't long enough to prepare for a baby --- try 4 and a half hours.

In observance of this special day for our family, I thought I'd share the story of how it happened. The following is the email I wrote in July of last year informing our friends and families of our BIG NEWS. (Our closest peeps knew before then, but we didn't want to make it public since our failed adoptions happened only 3 months prior.)

CHRISTMAS IN JULY - Adoption Update

July 8, 2008

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, last week I had every intention of sending out an email to update everyone on how we were doing in the aftermath of our failed adoption of Maddie & Collin. I was going to tell you about our journey toward healing. I was going to tell you about the amazing vacation to a resort in Cancun that Iain and I took which served as our "adoption band-aid." I was going to tell you that we were in discernment as to what our next step would be in this crazy adoption process in order to further our quest to grow our family. Well, that's what I WAS going to tell you. Apparently - God (once again) seemed to have another plan.

What I AM going to tell you will probably come as a complete surprise to you. (We're STILL in shock and no, I'm NOT pregnant.) Iain & I have become the parents of a brand-spankin' new baby who turned one week old today. You read it right. Iain & Maria are the parents of a brand-new baby!

Better news: It's official!!! Both birth father and birth mother have signed their surrender of parental rights.

Even better news: IT'S A GIRL!

Very Best News: She is in our home, in Iain's arms, as I type this.

Most Amazing News: We got to pick her up from the hospital when she was 2 days old!

She has been with us since Thursday night (July 3rd).We know that you will understand why we've waited to share this miraculous event until it it was official. Even though we've been busting at the seams for almost five days just dying to share our news.....it was really important to us to refrain from taking everyone on yet another crazy roller coaster ride - especially if things didn't go according to plan. (Been there, done that.....don't care to go down that road again!)

How This All Came About:

At 6pm on Thursday night we got a call from Marcia at NLC. (I had already scheduled coffee with her to let her know we'd be pursuing additional adoption avenues.) She started out by saying, "What are are y'all doing?" I told her that we had just pulled into my parents driveway for supper. She said, "Well, do you think you could change your plans?"

"And why would we do that?" I asked tentatively?

"Well, I'm at the hospital looking at the most precious baby....and she's yours if you'll have her."

Baby?......Girl?.....No flippin' way. (In my head, I imagined a bi-racial baby boy.)

She went on to tell us the birth mother's situation (I don't want to give too many details since it is a closed and local adoption). Her family was supportive of her decision to place the baby for adoption and so was the birth father's family. The birth father had signed over his rights that night but the birth mother had to wait five days after the birth to sign her surrender. By law she would be required to have 2 hours of counseling. So, the tricky decision that night was......do we pick up the baby now hold our breath for a few days....or do we let someone else care for the baby until the mother is completely signed?

When I asked Iain what he wanted to do, he replied, "Let's go pick up our daughter." (still gives me chills!) And so we did. We got to the hospital at 9pm, signed the power of attorney, went to the nursery and laid eyes on our daughter for the very first time. It was magical. She's teeny tiny (5lbs 3oz) with light brown hair (with a little blond and a touch of red thrown in for good measure.) She even has the most intoxicating dimples! We signed some paperwork from our attorney.The nurses gave us some paperwork and asked if we had any questions? Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to think of questions 10 minutes after becoming a mother?

By 10:00 pm we were leaving the hospital and (you're gonna love this) I got to be wheeled out in a wheelchair with my baby just like all the other card-carrying moms! That's when I knew it was real. It was surreal. It was mystical. We could hardly get her little 5 lb body in the car seat. SO tiny!

We have been hibernating at home with this precious little creature for the last few days waiting for the official news....and tonight at 7:20pm we got it. We are officially the parents of Gianna Elyse Lewis. (Pronounced Jee-AH-nah). The Name We have chosen our boy and girl names early on in the adoption process. We liked our boy name (still not tellin') but I really felt like God chose our girl name. I came across the name Gianna several times in a short period of time, one being in an article about a family in Kansas who was pregnant with a baby girl who didn't develop a kidney and only lived a short time after birth. They named her Gianna - and it sounded beautiful to me. It was a touching and inspiring story of an amazing, faithful family. I was curious if Gianna was a saint name, so I did a little research and found an amazing story about St. Gianna Beretta Molla.

The short version of the story is that Gianna, a young Italian woman, wife, mother and physician who (while pregnant with her fourth child) discovered she had a uterine tumor. She endured the painful pregnancy even though doctors encouraged her to abort. The baby was born healthy and Gianna died a week later. The Church lifts her up as a model of selflessness, heroic virtue and is a patron of Pro-Life. The name Gianna means: God is Gracious. We knew then, that would be our girl's name....and it fits her beautifully.

And here's the icing on the cake:

As Iain & I were driving to the hospital, I was thinking and let out a huge gasp/scream and my poor husband slammed on the breaks. "Oh my Gosh, Iain," I said, "you're not going to believe this?"

After making me swear I would never do that again while he was driving...I told him what I had discovered:

Last fall when we finished our adoption home study and paperwork, I brought our completed adoption profile to Marjorie at New Life Counseling. I remember it was October 1st, 2007 (Feast of St. Therese), I went to Mass and when I returned home I wrote an email to friends and family letting you know that we were finally were finished with our part of the process and all we had left to do was wait. The exact quote was, "We consider ourselves officially expecting!"

Well, wouldn't you know that 9 months TO THE DAY after I sent that email exclaiming the we considered ourselves "officially expecting".....Gianna Elyse was born......July 1, 2008. That was my sign that she was meant for us. No question about it. I knew this like I knew my own name. This baby girl was born for us.

What happens next? In the next week, we'll go to court and we'll petition for "placement." It's not a scary court thing....just a formality stating we intend to adopt this baby. For all practical purposes she is ours......but in the State of Louisiana adoption take a year to finalize. There is virtually no way she can be taken from us at this point. We are a family.Prayer of thanks!

We are filled with gratitude and love as we are living an answer to prayer. We are completely overwhelmed by God's goodness and are amazed at by the graces being showered on us. I keep thinking of that Rascal Flatts song with the line, "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." Broken road...you bet. Blessed road......amen!

We ask that you join us in prayer for the birth mother (and birth family) as they grieve their loss and hopefully find the healing and comfort they deserve with this life-changing decision they've made. We also ask for your continue prayers of Maddie & Collin. Although they are no longer part of our family, they will always be part of our heart. We continue to miss them, think of them and love them. And thank you all for joining us in this incredible journey. Your prayers, concern and support of us has helped to bring us to this blessed, joyous day. Keep praying and this story is not over. There's so much I wanted to share, but my thoughts are a little muddled right now.Okay, I'm going to love on my little baby girl now. I know that you guys have been waiting for the unveiling......here is the link to Gianna's first few pictures. http://lewisland.shutterfly.com/pictures/ (You know there are hundreds of them already, but I only posted about 30.)
Love,
Maria & Iain (a year ago)

I had a boy outfit and girl outfit all ready to go - just in case we got a last minute call. I brought the sweet little pink girl outfit to dress my baby in. There was NO WAY. It nearly swallowed this tiny little munchkin. So, we just took her home in the little onesie they had her in.
Yep. This is when we became believers in Love at First Sight. I know many new moms complain about having to be wheeled out of the hospital. Not me! It was my honor, my dream, me pure delight!